I’m not a parent so I can only guess at the accuracy of what I’m about to say. I suspect that at some point in every child’s life, they realize that most of those dire parental threats (“If you don’t behave, Santa isn’t coming.” “Your face is going to freeze like that!”) are idle, and… Continue reading Paging Dr. Dolittle (or “Is someone building an ark?”)
This possum isn’t playing
Well, I may not be able to outsmart a raccoon, but that doesn’t mean I’m a total trapping failure. Last Saturday I awoke to find that the door on the trap was closed, but through the bathroom window I couldn’t identify the occupant. I got dressed and walked through the back yard and around the… Continue reading This possum isn’t playing
Scoreboard: Raccoons – 2, Me – 2
Alert Gazette readers will recall that I was feeling pretty triumphant after the capture of not one, but two marauding raccoons who had been brutalizing our lawn. I’ll admit that I was sure the human race could be proud of the way I was representing it in the mammalian biped-vs-quadruped battle. Alas, pride goeth before… Continue reading Scoreboard: Raccoons – 2, Me – 2
Guardian of the Galaxy? Nope, just a Destroyer of the Lawn.
Raccoons are enjoying new celebrity, thanks to Rocket Raccoon and the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. Rocket even has his own Wikipedia page (and there you’ll learn that he’s actually more than forty years old). But raccoons are really better in theory (and movies) than in reality. Many of you already know this. We thought… Continue reading Guardian of the Galaxy? Nope, just a Destroyer of the Lawn.
It’s a zoo around here…
Update (2022): I’m not particularly proud of the first part of the following post. As I’ve become better educated about the snakes in this area — and in particular, cottonmouths — I’ve come to realize that there’s almost no reason to kill one of these creatures. You, of course, are entitled to your own opinion… Continue reading It’s a zoo around here…
Toilet Wars
A female friend posted this on Facebook a few days ago: The ensuing comments provided a preview of the nuclear equivalent of the War of the Sexes, with each side accusing the other of being less sanitary or courteous when it comes to the state of public restrooms. Scholarly studies were quoted; personal anecdotes were… Continue reading Toilet Wars
Armadillo by Morning
Note: For reasons to be revealed later, you didn’t see this post. In fact, once you’re finished here, please extract your memory and destroy it, Mission Impossible-style. Thanks for your cooperation. Note 2: I conceived the title for this post when I briefly woke in the middle of the night, one of the few times… Continue reading Armadillo by Morning
The Greatest Generation: A POW’s Story
As they marched us back from the river, one soldier was carrying an American flag. That flag was a beautiful sight. I wish that flag could have the same meaning to everyone in this country now. — Loy Dean Lawler Dr. Loy Dean Lawler was an optometrist who practiced for many years in Mount Pleasant,… Continue reading The Greatest Generation: A POW’s Story
A “Relaxing” Weekend – Pt. 3: Paranoid Hiking
[Part 1] [Part 2] Trigger Warning: Here there be dragons. Or, at least, serpents. Elizabeth, you’ve been warned. Having survived the Great Coax Caper and the Putrid Possum Pestilence, we were looking forward to a relaxing hike on the newly-christened Horseshoe Creek Trail with The Nephew, his wife, and their dog Sophie. (I briefly introduced… Continue reading A “Relaxing” Weekend – Pt. 3: Paranoid Hiking
A “Relaxing” Weekend – Pt. 2: Close Encounters of the Putrid Kind
[Part 1] Now, where were we? Oh, yes…I had completed a successful repair of a shredded coax cable that restored our satellite TV access, and life was good. Except…something was slightly amiss in the air. There was a lingering odor, a smell that seemed to grow stronger depending on which way the breeze was blowing,… Continue reading A “Relaxing” Weekend – Pt. 2: Close Encounters of the Putrid Kind