{"id":1007,"date":"2014-07-30T07:39:41","date_gmt":"2014-07-30T12:39:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2014\/07\/30\/140730-randomthursday\/"},"modified":"2023-10-05T16:46:40","modified_gmt":"2023-10-05T21:46:40","slug":"140730-randomthursday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2014\/07\/30\/140730-randomthursday\/","title":{"rendered":"Random Thursday: The Wednesday Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div>[Insert pithy yet winsome introductory text here. Please.]<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div>\n<ul>\n<li>Every now and then, something happens that restores my faith in humanity and I think that perhaps there really is some hope for mankind. Then I read Facebook comments and come to my senses.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: 1px solid #ccc;\" src=\"http:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/images\/misc\/dosequisman.jpg\" alt=\"Dos Equis Man: I don't always read FB comments, but when I do, I want to claw my eyes out\"><\/figure><div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">Forget Ebola. What I want is a concentrated scientific and medical research effort to find a cure for that strange malady that results in the loss of use of a person&#8217;s left index finger the moment they get behind the wheel of a car in Midland, Texas. You know, the finger that activates the turn signal.<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">Similarly, what is it about grocery store parking lots that cause otherwise sane people to acquire the emotional state of a rabid menopausal bobcat with hemorrhoids? Last night, a &#8220;lady&#8221; almost rammed me trying to get to a parking space before me (and I wasn&#8217;t even trying to park). Fortunately, I was able to nudge her walker out of the way with my truck bumper and get on with my business.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">In keeping with the mindset that anyone who drives slower than me is an idiot and anyone who drives faster is a jerk, I believe that women drivers don&#8217;t use turn signals because they&#8217;re too preoccupied with cell phones, and men don&#8217;t use them because they think that communicating their intentions is a sign of weakness.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: 1px solid #ccc;\" src=\"http:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/images\/misc\/leagueoftheirown_turnsignal.jpg\" alt=\"Tom Hanks: Use the turn signal!\"><\/figure><div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">If the Cold War turns hot and we have to start building bomb shelters again, I&#8217;m making mine out of the cardboard that Chobani uses in their four-packs. I&#8217;m pretty sure that stuff could withstand anything the Russkies could throw at it.<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">I&#8217;m so Midland, I think the name of my city is an adjective. (Seriously, folks&#8230;stop it. Just stop it.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[Insert pithy yet winsome introductory text here. Please.] Every now and then, something happens that restores my faith in humanity and I think that perhaps there really is some hope for mankind. Then I read Facebook comments and come to my senses. &nbsp; Forget Ebola. What I want is a concentrated scientific and medical research&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2014\/07\/30\/140730-randomthursday\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Random Thursday: The Wednesday Edition<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,19,24,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-midland-odessa","category-random-thursday","category-social-media","category-society-culture","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1007"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12438,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1007\/revisions\/12438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}