{"id":1024,"date":"2014-09-25T17:51:06","date_gmt":"2014-09-25T22:51:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2014\/09\/25\/140925-ibeam-2\/"},"modified":"2022-03-28T15:32:33","modified_gmt":"2022-03-28T20:32:33","slug":"140925-ibeam-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2014\/09\/25\/140925-ibeam-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Introducing the iBeam: floppy phones fixed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Despite the fact that <a href=\"http:\/\/time.com\/3430746\/apple-bendgate-iphone-6-plus\/\">only nine customers<\/a> (out of 10 million orders) have reported problems with iPhone 6 bending, the alleged phenomenon has spawned numerous memes and generated its own Twitter hashtag, #bendgate.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Since the internet is never wrong about stuff like this, I immediately recognized that this is a world-class problem in desperate need of a world-class solution, and I wasted no time (OK, perhaps I wasted <i>some<\/i> time, but not a lot) in focusing my awesome engineering skills on bailing Apple out of this horrible pretend crisis.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I present for your consideration the ultimate iPhone rigidifying accessory, the iBeam.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/images\/misc\/ibeam.jpg\" alt=\"The iBeam, for the prevention of bendy iPhones\"><\/p>\n<p>Simply affix the iBeam to your phone (you only take selfies with anyway, so you won&#8217;t miss the camera on the back) and you&#8217;re guaranteed* to never have to suffer the embarrassment of a floppy phone.<\/p>\n<p class=\"smaller\">*Certain exclusions apply.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Despite the fact that only nine customers (out of 10 million orders) have reported problems with iPhone 6 bending, the alleged phenomenon has spawned numerous memes and generated its own Twitter hashtag, #bendgate.&nbsp; Since the internet is never wrong about stuff like this, I immediately recognized that this is a world-class problem in desperate need&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2014\/09\/25\/140925-ibeam-2\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Introducing the iBeam: floppy phones fixed<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[46,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apple-macs","category-just-plain-silly","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1024","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1024"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1024\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9226,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1024\/revisions\/9226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}