{"id":1179,"date":"2017-12-31T18:57:23","date_gmt":"2018-01-01T00:57:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2017\/12\/31\/171231_trapmods\/"},"modified":"2023-10-10T14:38:34","modified_gmt":"2023-10-10T19:38:34","slug":"171231_trapmods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2017\/12\/31\/171231_trapmods\/","title":{"rendered":"Building the Perfect Beast"},"content":{"rendered":"

The power of reason, the top of the heap<\/em>
\nWe’re the ones who can kill the things we<\/em>
\nDon’t eat<\/em>
\n…
\nAnd now the day is come<\/em>
\nSoon he will be released<\/em>
\nGlory hallelujah!<\/em>
\nWe’re building the perfect beast<\/em>
\n— Don Henley [1984]<\/p>\n

With apologies to Mr. Henley, who likely didn’t anticipate his lyrics would apply to raccoons, this seems to be exactly what I’m doing lately with my trapping efforts. My wife thinks my motto should now be “Making Smarter Raccoons.” I wouldn’t disagree.<\/p>\n

We’re in a sort of arms race, the neighborhood raccoons and I. Every time I concoct a strategy to trap them, they create a countermeasure that defeats it. It’s simultaneously humbling and — I confess — a bit amusing. If this was a TV game show — say, Are You Smarter Than a Varmint<\/i> — I’d be exiting before the first commercial break.<\/p>\n

I relearned this lesson earlier this week when I discovered that the sardine-baited trap I’d put out was (1) sprung, (b) empty, and (&*$$%) missing its sardines. It had obviously been rudely treated:<\/p>\n

\"Empty<\/p>\n

As you can see, the bungee cord that I used to keep the trap in place didn’t accomplish its only assigned task. The entire trap had been shifted by something, and in the process the trapdoor was sprung. The can of sardines that had been placed beneath the trap and on top of the black mat was, of course, gone. (Alert Gazette readers will recall that I had started placing the bait under the trap instead of inside of it, because too many prospective prisoners had figured out how to abscond with it without tripping the trap…more “one-step-ahead hacking.”)<\/p>\n

I assumed the culprit was of a raccoonish persuasion, and the game camera footage proved my assumption. Shortly after baiting the trap, a raccoon appeared and got to work hacking my system.<\/p>\n

Raccoons wear masks for good reason; they’re thieves, and quite good at their thievery.<\/p>\n

I have to admit some grudging admiration for their cleverness and determination. The following video shows the raccoon trying one approach, and dropping it for another when the first one proved unfruitful. (Note that most of the footage is sped up by 200%…it’s only about two minutes long, for those with short attention spans, like me.)<\/p>\n