{"id":16327,"date":"2026-01-12T16:49:54","date_gmt":"2026-01-12T22:49:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/?p=16327"},"modified":"2026-01-12T16:49:57","modified_gmt":"2026-01-12T22:49:57","slug":"fire-ant-flickers-18-2026-already","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2026\/01\/12\/fire-ant-flickers-18-2026-already\/","title":{"rendered":"Fire Ant Flickers (#18): 2026 Already?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Welp, here we are&#8230;3.288% into 2026 and I&#8217;m just now working up the energy to post something. It&#8217;s not from lack of ideas; I have plenty of them, although (as you&#8217;ll soon see), quality takes a back seat to quantity. OTOH, why should 2026 be any different than the previous *<em>counts and recounts on all fingers and toes<\/em>* 23 years? I&#8217;m too old to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"return1\">Having said that, I&#8217;ve indeed made a couple of dramatic changes in my habits and environment for this new year. But first, since we&#8217;re now in the second week of the new year and we&#8217;ve all by now rescinded the foolish resolutions we made regarding diet and exercise, let me provide you with a Scriptural reference that will assuage any lingering feelings of guilt you might have <strong><sup>[<a href=\"#footnote1\" title=\"Fascinating Footnote 1\">1<\/a>]<\/sup><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-style-twentytwentyone-border\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"608\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/isaiah55_2.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-16332\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/isaiah55_2.jpg 608w, https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/isaiah55_2-285x300.jpg 285w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 608px) 100vw, 608px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">King James Version (the &#8220;ye&#8221; gave it away, didn&#8217;t it?)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Debbie found this entry in an old &#8220;verse of the day&#8221; calendar while going through some &#8220;historical&#8221; files.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, where were we?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Excel Elimination <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"return2\">In 1984, I started keeping fairly detailed records of my workouts. That&#8217;s *<em>counts and recounts on all fingers and toes<\/em>* 41 years <strong><sup><a title=\"Fascinating Footnote 2\" href=\"#footnote2\">[2]<\/a><\/sup><\/strong> of Excel spreadsheets. Blame it on my recessive Accountants Gene; I&#8217;ve always been a spreadsheet kind of fellow. Anyway, I justified it &#8212; and I think appropriately so &#8212; as being helpful to maintaining discipline in that aspect of my life. Thing is&#8230;I never really did anything with the data, other than record it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"return3\">So, I&#8217;ve now gone twelve days without detailing my running, pickleballing, bicycling, &#8220;functional strength training&#8221; (as Apple characterizes it), and walking (indoor AND outdoor), and I can honestly say that I&#8217;m a nervous wreck. *<em>serenity now<\/em>* <strong><a title=\"Fascinating Footnote 3\" href=\"#footnote3\"><sup>[3]<\/sup><\/a><\/strong>. Fortunately, my watch\/phone is keeping even more detailed records than I would have. I probably won&#8217;t do anything with that data, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"return4\">For the record, according to that mass of spreadsheets, I&#8217;ve compiled the following total mileage for running and bicycling <strong><sup>[<a href=\"#footnote4\" title=\"Fascinating...do you really not know?\">4<\/a>]<\/sup><\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Running<\/strong> \u2014 7,559 miles. That&#8217;s the approximate distance from my location in Horseshoe Bay, Texas, to <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/El_Fasher\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">El Fasher, Sudan<\/a>, Africa. Given the unattractiveness of traveling to Sudan at this time, I could also go the opposite direction and wind up in <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Xi%27an\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Xi&#8217;an, China<\/a>, a more pleasant destination, no disrespect to the good folk who are still alive in El Fasher and undoubtedly armed with 5.56x45mm assault rifles.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1.5em;\"><strong>Cycling<\/strong> \u2014 56,229 miles. That&#8217;s the equivalent of circling the Earth approximately 2.26 times at its <em>widest<\/em> point (and also at its <em>narrowest<\/em> point because there&#8217;s only 141 miles difference between the equatorial and polar circumferences, the latter being the smaller distance). <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><em>In case you&#8217;re wondering, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.distance.to\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">this website<\/a> is an excellent resource for calculating the straight-line distance between two points on the globe.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Display Deletion<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>The second big change is perhaps less logical on the surface: I&#8217;ve mothballed the 16-year-old 24&#8243; Dell monitor that I&#8217;ve used in conjunction with my 27&#8243; iMac, and I&#8217;m working now with just one display. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the first time in more than two decades that I haven&#8217;t had a dual display, but I&#8217;m finding that 27&#8243; of screen is plenty for my purposes. To be honest, the limitations of my workspace required the second monitor to be positioned off to the side, and I found it increasingly uncomfortable to view it (not to mention the new setup works better with the progressive lenses in my glasses; yay for getting old).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m thinking about re-homing the Dell monitor, although its common knowledge that I&#8217;m not averse to <a href=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2015\/10\/09\/151509_shotipad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">shooting old tech<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"108\" height=\"15\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/divider.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14536\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Closing Shots<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking of weight loss (you do remember four minutes ago, right?), I ran across the following quote in the <em>New York Times<\/em> (I think; I&#8217;ve slept since then):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-style-twentytwentyone-border\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"105\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/quote_bassethoundweightloss.jpg\" alt=\"Quote comparing losing a certain amount of weight to dropping an entire male basset hound\" class=\"wp-image-16335\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/quote_bassethoundweightloss.jpg 640w, https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/quote_bassethoundweightloss-300x49.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>That&#8217;s a decent analogy, although I think that comparing the loss to two <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tractorsupply.com\/tsc\/product\/magic-chef-27-lb-portable-countertop-ice-maker-stainless-steel-1335980?crmid=2462461156&amp;utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=pmax&amp;utm_campaign=tsc0_tsc_tsc_dyn_search_sch_us_cvr&amp;utm_content=sku_na&amp;adtype=pla&amp;campaignid=20622875965&amp;device=c&amp;product_channel=online&amp;product_id=1335980\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Magic Chef Portable Countertop Ice Makers<\/a> would have been more dramatic, and, possibly, more accurate, without veering uncomfortably close to body-shaming the sensitive male population of basset hounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And speaking of hefty examples of specific mammals, it&#8217;s common knowledge that <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Capybara\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">capybaras<\/a> &#8212; the giants of the rodent world, second in size only to the <a href=\"https:\/\/princessbride.fandom.com\/wiki\/R.O.U.S.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">R.O.U.S.<\/a>, which, however much we would like it to be true, doesn&#8217;t really exist &#8212; are as comfortable moving about in the water as they are on land. However, recent evidence has come to light that casts doubt on exactly how they&#8217;re able to move through the water. You can draw your own conclusions after viewing the following mostly-accurate graphic:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-style-twentytwentyone-border\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"708\" height=\"694\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/meme_bicyclingrodents.jpg\" alt=\"Meme showing five capybaras apparently swimming in a line, but proving that they're actually riding an underwater bicycle built for five\" class=\"wp-image-16337\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/meme_bicyclingrodents.jpg 708w, https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/meme_bicyclingrodents-300x294.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 708px) 100vw, 708px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">OK, I admit that the mechanics of the bicycle are questionable, but that&#8217;s an insignificant detail.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"108\" height=\"15\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/divider.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14536\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Fact-Adjacent Footnotes<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"footnote1\"><strong>[1]<\/strong> I know you&#8217;ll find this fascinating. The [mis]application of the word &#8220;fatness&#8221; &#8212; as used in this archaic sense; the King James Version of the Bible was published in 1611, when Keith Richards was but a child &#8212; to the modern topic of obesity is what&#8217;s known as <em>semantic anachronism<\/em>. The original meaning of fatness referred to fertility, abundance, or prosperity. At least I didn&#8217;t fall prey the classic <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Etymological_fallacy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">etymological fallacy<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>I need to come clean at this point lest you mistake this educational footnote as further evidence of my impressive eloquence&#8230;it&#8217;s all courtesy of ChatGPT. [<strong><a href=\"#return1\">Return<\/a><\/strong>]<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"footnote2\"><strong>[2]<\/strong> Alert Gazette readers with excess discretionary time will no doubt point out that Microsoft Excel wasn&#8217;t rolled out until 1985. Very true and I commend you for your skepticism regarding anything you read on these pages. I should have been more clear that I kept paper records of workouts which were later transcribed into Excel, thus proving that you guys weren&#8217;t the only ones with excess discretionary time. <strong>[<a href=\"#return2\">Return<\/a>]<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"footnote3\"><strong>[3]<\/strong> Yes, we recently streamed this <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Serenity_Now\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">old episode of <em>Seinfeld<\/em><\/a>. <strong>[<a href=\"#return3\">Return<\/a>]<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"footnote4\"><strong>[4]<\/strong> These numbers do not include occasionally massive cycling mileage accumulated via exercise bikes and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bicycling.com\/bikes-gear\/a20050631\/how-to-choose-an-indoor-bike-trainer\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">wind trainers<\/a>, or running mileage on a treadmill. You could add several thousand miles to both categories, but just thinking about it makes me break out in a sweat. <strong>[<a href=\"#return4\">Return<\/a>]<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"108\" height=\"15\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/divider.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14536\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">OK&#8230;this is the ACTUAL Closing Shot&#8230;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-style-twentytwentyone-border\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"626\" src=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/meme_beatingupalittlekid.jpg\" alt=\"Meme: something something beating up a little kid something something. You just had to be there.\" class=\"wp-image-16361\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/meme_beatingupalittlekid.jpg 500w, https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/meme_beatingupalittlekid-240x300.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Don&#8217;t act like you haven&#8217;t thought about it.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is not a post about New Year&#8217;s resolutions. Really. But I have made some changes for 2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16328,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[411,1],"tags":[617,148,616,615],"class_list":["post-16327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fire-ant-flickers","category-uncategorized","tag-capybaras","tag-chatgpt","tag-computer-monitors","tag-spreadsheets","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/header_alienblogger_ai.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16327"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16363,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16327\/revisions\/16363"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16328"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}