One of the unavoidable steps in replacing windows in one’s house is the removal of the existing windows. This will inevitably result in the leaving in the side of one’s house what is technically referred to as “big freakin’ holes,” which may also be translated into verminese as “Grab the kids, Ethyl…the buffet is open!”
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This situation was first called to my attention by MLB<\/acronym> early Tuesday morning. Her: When we went to bed last night, there were two pieces of food in Abbye’s bowl.<\/em> Me: That’s interesting.<\/em> Her, following a pause pregnant with possibility: The bowl is now empty.<\/em> [Cue soundtrack; discordant strings, please]<\/span> reek! reek! reek! reek!<\/em> Well. Unless Abbye had suddenly developed teleportation skills, ala Nightcrawler in X2<\/a>, something else was cleaning her food bowl during the night. I confirmed the suspicion this morning, finding two half-eaten pieces of dog food in the cabinet under the kitchen sink, along with the usual disgusting byproducts of rodentary metabolism. OK, so we may<\/em> have a mouse in the house but no need to grouse, my spouse (I said, inexplicably channeling the spirit of Theodor Geisel)…it’s not like we’re in danger of, say, bubonic plague. Then I looked at the front page article in today’s newspaper in which the Department of Health has reportedly issued a plague advisory for the Midland, Texas area. reek! reek! reek! reek!<\/em> This will, of course, call for drastic measures. In a former life, we called it “wetwork,” IYKWIM…AISYD<\/acronym>. The only question I’m now deliberating is whether we should try to save the house’s foundation, or rebuild from the bedrock. Stay tuned…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the unavoidable steps in replacing windows in one’s house is the removal of the existing windows. This will inevitably result in the leaving in the side of one’s house what is technically referred to as “big freakin’ holes,” which may also be translated into verminese as “Grab the kids, Ethyl…the buffet is open!”… Continue reading Napalming the Kitchen: Overreaction or Necessary Precaution?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2097","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kitchen-sink","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2097"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2097\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7397,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2097\/revisions\/7397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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