{"id":2453,"date":"2004-12-10T09:16:36","date_gmt":"2004-12-10T15:16:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2004\/12\/10\/friday-wonderments\/"},"modified":"2023-10-11T18:36:37","modified_gmt":"2023-10-11T23:36:37","slug":"friday-wonderments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2004\/12\/10\/friday-wonderments\/","title":{"rendered":"Friday Wonderments"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Random observations&#8230;because that&#8217;s what we do.\u00a9<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Most of us have too much stuff. That&#8217;s why so many houses with perfectly good 2- and 3-car garages have cars parked in the streets. I had a client tell me once that he came by several times to drop something off, but I was never at home. I told him that I was <em>always<\/em> at home. He said &#8220;your car wasn&#8217;t parked in your driveway.&#8221; I replied, &#8220;that&#8217;s because it was in my garage!&#8221; He went away with a puzzled look as he mulled over this apparently alien concept. I&#8217;m pretty sure that I moved up a notch or two on his weirdness scale.<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">Of course, I have too much stuff, as well. But I simply rent an off-premises storage unit to protect that valuable stuff (which I haven&#8217;t visited in a year&#8230;that&#8217;s how valuable and irreplaceable it is).<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">How come women don&#8217;t whistle? When&#8217;s the last time you heard a gal whistling idly to pass the time? (My guess is that Gazette reader Jeff likes The Bangles because one of the band chicks whistles on &#8220;Walk Like An Egyptian.&#8221;)<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">Ladies, take a tip from <a title=\"MP3 Audio File: Dialog from 'To Have and Have Not'\" href=\"http:\/\/www.moviewavs.com\/cgi-bin\/mp3s.cgi?To_Have_And_Have_Not=havenot.mp3\">Lauren Bacall<\/a>. Learn to whistle. You&#8217;ll either be incredibly attractive, or incredibly annoying, and both characteristics have their uses.<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">Here&#8217;s a tip for something extravagant to try next Christmas (it&#8217;s probably too late this year). Rent a limo and have the driver take you and some friends through neighborhoods in your burg which are known for their over-the-top house and yard decorations. We did this last night, with three other couples, and it was a hoot. We&#8217;re all hayseeds anyway, and it was the first time for most of us to ride in a limo, so we each took turns standing and sticking our head out the moonroof and making tacky remarks about the decorations which failed to meet our lofty expectations (or which were, themselves, much more tacky than anything we could describe).<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">Our limo was a black stretch Lincoln, seating eight comfortably and ten in a squeeze. However, we experienced limo envy at one point when we were passed by the white stretch Excursion, owned by the same company; our driver said it seats eighteen. Fortunately, we don&#8217;t have that many friends.<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin-top: 1em;\">We&#8217;re in week four of our painting\/remodeling project. I estimate that the work is about 17% complete. By the time we&#8217;re finished, we&#8217;ll either be close enough with the painter that he&#8217;ll ask us to be godparents to his next child (which will be conceived and born before the work is finished), or one of us will be standing trial for homicide. In the latter instance, even an incompetent lawyer should have an easy case proving a case for &#8220;justifiable.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Random observations&#8230;because that&#8217;s what we do.\u00a9 Most of us have too much stuff. That&#8217;s why so many houses with perfectly good 2- and 3-car garages have cars parked in the streets. I had a client tell me once that he came by several times to drop something off, but I was never at home. I&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2004\/12\/10\/friday-wonderments\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Friday Wonderments<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kitchen-sink","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2453"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12695,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453\/revisions\/12695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}