{"id":2818,"date":"2005-04-25T16:40:10","date_gmt":"2005-04-25T21:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2005\/04\/25\/haiku-smackdown-antboy-rulez\/"},"modified":"2022-05-06T15:51:12","modified_gmt":"2022-05-06T20:51:12","slug":"haiku-smackdown-antboy-rulez","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2005\/04\/25\/haiku-smackdown-antboy-rulez\/","title":{"rendered":"Haiku Smackdown: Antboy Rulez!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Although you can&#8217;t discern it from his post, I&#8217;m proud to announce that Garrett Dimon temporarily took leave of his senses and awarded me the grand prize in his inaugural* haiku contest&#8230;and I have the <acronym title=\"iTunes Music Store\">ITMS<\/acronym> Gift Certificate to prove it (bringing my account balance to an amazing $14.15).<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d like to think all the little people whose backs I had to shred while climbing to the pinnacle of my lustrous haiku career. (Never mind how sad it is that winning a $10 gift certificate is, indeed, the pinnacle.) I also appreciate Garrett&#8217;s generosity in sponsoring this contest, which he promises will only be the first of many to come.<\/p>\n<p>And, to you doubters who continually underestimate the creative forces behind the Gazette, I leave you with this (which I sent to Garrett upon receiving his notice of victory):<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">Ice skating in hell,<br \/>\nAnd aeronautical pigs:<br \/>\nI&#8217;m now a poet?<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-size: .9em;\">*Lest you think I&#8217;m invincible in the arena of words, however, I&#8217;ll admit that it took me five tries to type &#8220;inaugural&#8221; correctly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wherein the Gazette wins a Major Award.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-navel-gazing","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2818"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2818\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10234,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2818\/revisions\/10234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}