{"id":2868,"date":"2005-05-13T16:33:06","date_gmt":"2005-05-13T21:33:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2005\/05\/13\/planting-gardens-for-alien-children\/"},"modified":"2022-01-27T13:52:30","modified_gmt":"2022-01-27T19:52:30","slug":"planting-gardens-for-alien-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2005\/05\/13\/planting-gardens-for-alien-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Planting Gardens for Alien Children"},"content":{"rendered":"

I saw a segment on The Weather Channel* this morning on planting a “pizza garden.” This is a small circular garden that you’re supposed to enlist your children to help plant, maintain and harvest. It’s called a pizza garden because you’re supposed to plant — are you ready for this? — “the vegetables that you and your children like on your pizza. Vegetables like tomatos, peppers, onions, squash and broccoli are favorites.”<\/cite><\/p>\n

Favorites for whom?! I’m a semi-grown adult and I wouldn’t voluntarily venture within a block of a pizza that was topped with squash. Do you know any child who will eat broccoli pizza? I don’t. In fact, unless pepperoni is harvested from bushes, the kids I know run screaming from pizza containing any<\/em> vegetables. (Pizza sauce doesn’t count as a vegetable, governmental edicts notwithstanding.) Getting your child to willingly cooperate with this kind of pizza garden is about as likely as Howard Dean including the Westminster Confession of Faith<\/a> in the next Democratic presidential campaign platform.<\/p>\n

The Weather Channel needs to start getting its programming from somewhere other than Marin County, CA.<\/p>\n

*Yes, I frequently watch TWC. Most of the time, questionable gardening tips aside, it’s the only thing worth watching on TV.<\/span><\/p>\n

Technorati tag: Pizza Garden<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Will your<\/em> child eat a broccoli-and-squash pizza? Didn’t think so…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tv-radio","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2868"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2868\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5681,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2868\/revisions\/5681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}