{"id":2879,"date":"2005-05-22T17:15:39","date_gmt":"2005-05-22T22:15:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2005\/05\/22\/dance-lessons-week-3-a-sinister-revelation\/"},"modified":"2022-05-06T16:14:15","modified_gmt":"2022-05-06T21:14:15","slug":"dance-lessons-week-3-a-sinister-revelation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2005\/05\/22\/dance-lessons-week-3-a-sinister-revelation\/","title":{"rendered":"Dance Lessons, Week 3: A Sinister Revelation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our third ballroom dancing lesson left us with the illusion that we might someday master this skill. There were times, perhaps perceptible only by us, that we were actually dancing as a couple, rather than answering a casting call for extras in the next George Romero movie<\/a>. (Note to George: If you ever decide that Ballroom Dance of the Dead<\/em> is a title that piques your imagination, have your people call my people. We’ll do lunch, bubbie.)<\/p>\n

Bernadette, our ever-patient instructor, was not content to let us rest on our laurels, as she continued to throw variations into the almost-comfortable basic steps we’d been practicing. We added the promenade to the tango and the cha-cha. If you’re unfamiliar with that move, let me assure you guys that it’s not one that you want to do in public in Midland, Texas without a female partner. However, when you have a lovely person of the distaff persuasion mirroring your moves, it evokes Fred\/Ginger imagery (well, in the way that a Mad Magazine cover might evoke Time Magazine imagery).<\/p>\n

I also had a revelation on Friday evening: dance lessons are for the guys. Oh, the women show up in order to make us be there, and to develop a passing familiarity with the steps, but they really don’t have to learn anything because no matter what happens — and it’s very important to understand this — it’s all our fault<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The fact that it took me three lessons to figure this out proves that I never stood a chance. Never did, and never will.<\/p>\n

Technorati tag: Ballroom Dance<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What your ballroom dance instructor will never tell you, especially if she’s a woman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dancing-ballroom","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2879"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10243,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879\/revisions\/10243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}