{"id":3614,"date":"2006-03-20T08:32:09","date_gmt":"2006-03-20T14:32:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2006\/03\/20\/this-explains-almost-nothing\/"},"modified":"2024-09-20T12:45:40","modified_gmt":"2024-09-20T17:45:40","slug":"this-explains-almost-nothing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2006\/03\/20\/this-explains-almost-nothing\/","title":{"rendered":"This explains almost nothing"},"content":{"rendered":"

My wife ran across the document shown below and thought I needed to display it on my desk along with my other awards and accolades.<\/p>\n

OK, in reality, this is my only<\/em> award and accolade, but that’s not the point.<\/p>\n

Actually, I’m not sure what the point is. Do they still give out this sort of thing? Surely not. And even if they do, I can’t imagine that the superintendent of the school district actually signs the blessed things.<\/p>\n

\"My<\/div>\n

Several observations. First, I always thought that my first grade school teacher’s first name was “Vera,” not “Bera.” I’m glad I’ve got that straight now. Second, Sid McCallister, the principal, is none other than the father of PGA Tour pro Blaine McCallister. Third, Comanche Elementary School was “retired” some years ago, too old and decripit for rehabilitation. The buildings are still intact, and there are ongoing rumors that the complex may be purchased by an oil company for a field office (or pipe yard, which is more likely but less welcome by the neighborhood).<\/p>\n

Fourth, and most puzzling, is the lack of a grade in the all important area of “Appetite.” Did I not eat that day (in which case, shouldn’t I have received a “U”?)? Or did they not feed us? Perhaps the school was short on paste for the first day of classes. (Get it?) This is a significant and alarming gap in my record of achievement, and perhaps the last time in my life that anyone drew a blank when considering my appetite.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The only excuse I can offer for this post is that it’s Monday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-plain-silly","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3614"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14273,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3614\/revisions\/14273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}