{"id":3832,"date":"2006-07-09T18:14:23","date_gmt":"2006-07-09T23:14:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2006\/07\/09\/one-mans-treasure-is-anothers-desperate-measure\/"},"modified":"2022-01-29T16:48:56","modified_gmt":"2022-01-29T22:48:56","slug":"one-mans-treasure-is-anothers-desperate-measure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2006\/07\/09\/one-mans-treasure-is-anothers-desperate-measure\/","title":{"rendered":"One man’s treasure is another’s desperate measure"},"content":{"rendered":"

Her [from the kitchen] – I just noticed that there’s almost two cups of water left in the coffeemaker. Doesn’t your coffee taste a little strong?<\/em><\/p>\n

Him [from the living room] – I was just thinking how good it is.<\/em><\/p>\n

Her – That’s so aggravating. I punched the button three times, and I figured that would do it. I didn’t think to check it again.<\/p>\n

Him – Well, just punch it again.<\/p>\n

Her – I already threw the grounds in the trash.<\/p>\n

— Silence —<\/p>\n

Him [moving toward the kitchen] – Um, how long ago?<\/p>\n

Her [eyebrow moving upward] – It’s been a while.<\/p>\n

Him [now in the kitchen, standing over the trash can] – You think it landed on anything gross?<\/p>\n

— Both peering into the trash, trying to ascertain whether the filter was still intact, and the potential toxicity of what it was resting against —<\/p>\n

Him – It’s looks OK to me.*<\/p>\n

Her – Uh…<\/p>\n

Him – I don’t think the 5-second rule applies to coffee grounds.<\/p>\n

Her – [silence]<\/p>\n

For the record, the remainder of the coffee was quite good, too.<\/p>\n

*One of the peripheral benefits of an unused kitchen: cleaner trash<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, what would *you* have done?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kitchen-sink","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3832"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3832\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6613,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3832\/revisions\/6613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}