{"id":495,"date":"2011-02-06T17:25:50","date_gmt":"2011-02-06T23:25:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/gazette\/2011\/02\/06\/110206_superbowl_qtr1\/"},"modified":"2011-02-06T17:25:50","modified_gmt":"2011-02-06T23:25:50","slug":"110206_superbowl_qtr1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/2011\/02\/06\/110206_superbowl_qtr1\/","title":{"rendered":"Super Bowl: First Quarter"},"content":{"rendered":"
“Eminem” – Lipton Tea: Uh, OK…<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

Cowboys and Aliens<\/i>? Count me in!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Everybody wants one” – Kia Optima:  Just for the special FX<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

“Cool guys befriend dork” – Pepsi Max: Shot to the crotch. Very original, Pepsi. Go sit over there by Bud Light and consider your sins.<\/div>\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Resurrected Grandpa” – Doritos: They’re just beating me down.<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"Divider\"<\/div>\n

Touchdown, Greenburgh Slackers. Some guy named Jordie just redeemed himself.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\"Divider\"<\/div>\n

3rd round…<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
“Product Placement” – Bud Light: Somebody just phoned it in.<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

“Tommy’s in Trouble?” – Chevy Silverado: Great concept, well-done. Good dog, Lassie, er, Chevy. Best ad thus far.<\/p>\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n
\"Divider\"<\/div>\n
2nd round…<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Finger sucking, pants-sniffing” – Doritos: A bit too gross and weird<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Retirement home” – Chevy Cruze: Let’s make fun of the old folks<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

“Abusive Wife” – Pepsi Max (But only because of the last scene)<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

\"Divider\"<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OK, first ads of the game, and they’re obviously trying to manage expectations:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

“Hack Job” – Bud Light: OK satire of an HGTV show<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

“Pug through the glass door” – Doritos: Lame<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Mercedes Trap” – Audi: 3 Good use of Kenny G<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Ant Rating:<\/strong> \"Rating:<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Divider\"<\/div>\n

If you’re unsure how to handicap this game, use the approach employed by my wife’s second cousin, who, albeit quite cute and employed, is inexplicably unmarried, and who decides who to root for, in the absence of any other compelling reason, by which quarterback is most dateable. In this case, unsurprisingly, she’s pulling for Green Bay.<\/p>\n

\"Divider\"<\/div>\n

By the way, this is the first Super Bowl in a long time where we can almost interpret the roman numeral, XLV, which is the metric equivalent of 183.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
Oh, I missed the kick-off. But no one has scored yet so that’s OK.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Eminem” – Lipton Tea: Uh, OK… Ant Rating: Cowboys and Aliens? Count me in! “Everybody wants one” – Kia Optima:  Just for the special FX Ant Rating: “Cool guys befriend dork” – Pepsi Max: Shot to the crotch. Very original, Pepsi. Go sit over there by Bud Light and consider your sins. Ant Rating: “Resurrected… Continue reading Super Bowl: First Quarter<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advertising","category-sports","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/495","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=495"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/495\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}