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<\/p>\nWe’re really enjoying our new iPads, although I think I’m getting along better with mine than Debbie is with hers. According to Apple, the iPad is a bit heavier than its predecessor, and while I can sort of detect that extra weight, she’s experienced it up close and personal, as it were. (As it was? As it is? As it ever shall be?)<\/p>\n
In fact, she may be the only person on the planet who’s experienced self-induced blunt force trauma via her iPad, and not just once, but twice. See, she likes to read in bed and…well, here’s a professional artist’s rendering of the brutal sequence of events that will tell the story better than I ever could.<\/p>\n
Artist’s Rendering<\/i>
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Thus we see the hazards associated with attempts at nocturnal multitasking, wherein reading while sleeping with a heavy object hovering over one’s face can lead to a literal rude awakening. And, believe it or not, there was blood. I told her she’s going to have to start sleeping in a football helmet with a faceguard.<\/p>\n
The first time this happened, I threatened to blog about it, but relented and chalked it up to “just one of those freakish things.” But twice makes a meme and we’re all about memes here at the Gazette. Plus, I told her I was going to do this. But you’re my witness, in case her heavy iPad lands somewhere else tonight, if you get my drift.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We’re really enjoying our new iPads, although I think I’m getting along better with mine than Debbie is with hers. According to Apple, the iPad is a bit heavier than its predecessor, and while I can sort of detect that extra weight, she’s experienced it up close and personal, as it were. (As it was?… Continue reading You snooze, you bruise.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-plain-silly","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=775"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9648,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/775\/revisions\/9648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericsiegmund.com\/fireant\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}