Equal Rights For Cyclists!? I LIKE it!
NOTE: For the next 60 seconds (more or less)
we will conduct a test of the Bicyclists' Sarcasm Network.
This is only a test...
I, for one, am in total agreement with the concept of affording cyclists with rights equal to those of autos. I, for one, say "give us complete equality, in every respect!" For example:
- Give me the right to throw ice, bottles, cans, muskmelons and Happy Meals at motorists who violate my notions of propriety (sufficiently evidenced by simultaneous existence with me);
- Give me the right to "key" the side of that buff Corvette that insists on passing me with two inches to spare, despite an open left lane;
- Give me the right to pull up next to the car waiting at the stop light and yell in the passenger's ear at the top of my lungs ancient Serbo-Aztecan invectives (or, in the alternative, aphorisms of the red-nek persuasion);
- Oh, and give me the right to do all these things with complete immunity from retribution, unless of course, the offended party manages to capture my actions on video (in duplicate) and also memorizes the serial number of my bicycle frame.
Yeah, I'm starting to warm to the idea of equal rights for cyclists!
This has been a test of the Bicyclists' Sarcasm Network.
Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been instructed to burn
the latest issue of "Car and Driver" Magazine. We now return you to
our regular programming, now in progress.