West Texas Cycling: It's All In the Jeans...uh, Genes
I suppose that it's only natural for we who live in the good old US of A to try to latch onto something that is unique to the region we inhabit, and blow it way out of proportion, in some kind of micro-nationalistic fervor...perhaps as a means of dealing with the cognitive dissonance arising from the realization that we don't live in Marin County. With that premise in mind, we proudly present the following, complete with cute little links to a special glossary of terms designed especially for sufferers of CCI ("Cowboy Culture Impairment"):
You know that you've become a real "West Texas Cyclist" when...
... you witched your last water well using the fork from a '93 Kestrel.
... your closet holds twelve pairs of ropers, each of which is SPD-compatible.
... you can't help but wonder if Chris LeDoux was ever a downhiller.
... every Christmas, your letter to Santa contains a plea for a bicycle helmet by Stetson.
... you salivate at the prospect of GU coming out with a jalapeño-flavored carbo gel.
... your "longhorn-style" handlebars...really are!
... you've had plenty of snakebite flats, but none due to underinflated tires.
... the mudflaps on your truck bear a chrome profile of Marla Streib (sorry ladies, this is one of them "guy things").
... you're convinced that if the PRCA bullriders would just give 'em a try, they'd love padded lycra shorts.
... while out for a night at the local C&W hangout, you invariably refer to the line dancers as "the paceline."
... during your training rides, you talk to the cattle across the fence line in the adjoining pasture, hoping to incite them into a competitive sprint.
... you refer to your tandem stoker as the "toolpusher."
... you consider your pickup to be just a vehicle for transporting bikes, as opposed to being your best bud.
... you'd like to ride the Hotter 'n Hell Hundred some day, but you just can't get past the thought of having to cozy up to all those Yankees from Dallas.
... no matter what the current weather conditions are, you and your bicycle constantly lean a little to the south, as a result of the prevailing winds.
... even during the peak riding season, each day you remember to pray for rain!