Friday Wonderments

Random observations…because that’s what we do.©

  • Most of us have too much stuff. That’s why so many houses with perfectly good 2- and 3-car garages have cars parked in the streets. I had a client tell me once that he came by several times to drop something off, but I was never at home. I told him that I was always at home. He said “your car wasn’t parked in your driveway.” I replied, “that’s because it was in my garage!” He went away with a puzzled look as he mulled over this apparently alien concept. I’m pretty sure that I moved up a notch or two on his weirdness scale.
  • Of course, I have too much stuff, as well. But I simply rent an off-premises storage unit to protect that valuable stuff (which I haven’t visited in a year…that’s how valuable and irreplaceable it is).
  • How come women don’t whistle? When’s the last time you heard a gal whistling idly to pass the time? (My guess is that Gazette reader Jeff likes The Bangles because one of the band chicks whistles on “Walk Like An Egyptian.”)
  • Ladies, take a tip from Lauren Bacall. Learn to whistle. You’ll either be incredibly attractive, or incredibly annoying, and both characteristics have their uses.
  • Here’s a tip for something extravagant to try next Christmas (it’s probably too late this year). Rent a limo and have the driver take you and some friends through neighborhoods in your burg which are known for their over-the-top house and yard decorations. We did this last night, with three other couples, and it was a hoot. We’re all hayseeds anyway, and it was the first time for most of us to ride in a limo, so we each took turns standing and sticking our head out the moonroof and making tacky remarks about the decorations which failed to meet our lofty expectations (or which were, themselves, much more tacky than anything we could describe).
  • Our limo was a black stretch Lincoln, seating eight comfortably and ten in a squeeze. However, we experienced limo envy at one point when we were passed by the white stretch Excursion, owned by the same company; our driver said it seats eighteen. Fortunately, we don’t have that many friends.
  • We’re in week four of our painting/remodeling project. I estimate that the work is about 17% complete. By the time we’re finished, we’ll either be close enough with the painter that he’ll ask us to be godparents to his next child (which will be conceived and born before the work is finished), or one of us will be standing trial for homicide. In the latter instance, even an incompetent lawyer should have an easy case proving a case for “justifiable.”

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9 comments

  3. Do most people have their christmas lights out yet? My neighborhood doesn’t have many out yet and I haven’t driven around other neighborhoods.
    The night before X-mas Eve (12-23) at Grassland would probably be best for a limo ride. 12-24 has too many cars in the area, meaning an extremely slow ride around the neighborhood, meaning longer time and more $$$$ for the limo. 12-23 seems perfect. I’ll check into it next year.

  4. Bert, at $100/hour (for the Lincoln), you don’t want to get tied up in the Christmas Eve traffic jam, that’s for sure. Plus, I’m not sure how the limo would handle those cul-de-sacs in Grasslands with a line of cars stacked up behind him. As it was, he had to back up, sometimes twice, to make the u-turns last night.
    And, to answer your first question, I’d guess that almost 90% of the lights are up now at Grasslands. The problem seemed to be that not everyone had them turned on last night. A week later would probably be ideal. (If you wait too long, some people go out of town for Christmas and don’t turn on their lights.)

  5. There’s been a massive increase in people (over)decorating with Christmas lights. It’s gone long past the point of “celebrating the holiday” and turned into the sort of crass, genuinely ugly competitiveness so many Americans love.
    Let’s not forget that Christmas (that’s Christ-mas) used to be a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus. Seems most people have long forgotten the Son of God was born in a filthy stable surrounded by animals and their droppings. His first crib was a hay-filled feeding trough for cattle and horses.
    How do people celebrate that humble event? By making sure THEIR house is “brighter” than the neighbors’. By spending thousands of dollars for MORE lights, MORE neon Santas and snowmen, MORE of everything, not to mention the insane electric bill come January.
    Every year the paper runs plea after plea for assistance from soup kitchens, shelters for the homeless and abused, charity groups trying to collect toys for children, and every year those organizations fall short.
    Considering His teachings on charity, what would Christ find a more pleasing celebration on Christmas?
    Buying several dozen new strings of lights and a giant inflatable snow man for the front yard, or using those funds to buy several dozen presents for poor children?
    Truth is, those people aren’t celebrating the birth of Jesus. They’re celebrating themselves. They’re celebrating their own exhibitionism, their own bad taste, and their own consumer frenzy.

  6. There may be a lot of expensive lights out there, but there are also some dollars being devoted to helping the less-fortunate.
    NewsWest 9, where I work, is in the midst of its annual Toy Drive for the Odessa-Midland Salvation Army, and it may turn out to be the most successful yet in terms of number of people/groups/families involved and the number of toys they’re contributing for the kids.

  7. I wonder if the Target fiasco might actually turn into a windfall for the Salvation Army? I know we’re being more generous than usual with the red kettles that are still around.
    I worked three days at church (along with a hundred other volunteers) this week helping with our annual Christmas Store, where we provided free new toys for more than 400 families. We’ll deliver big boxes of food to another 200-300 families in about a week. And every other church in Midland-Odessa is doing similar things on a scale proportionate to its size (not to mention the corporate involvement in things like Dress A Live Doll, etc.). Then there’s the $4 million dollars raised in the recently completed United Way campaign; not too shabby for a city of 100,000. I certainly don’t begrudge anyone wanting to throw some dollars and effort into Christmas decorations in light (no pun intended) of the collective generosity that we see around here all the time.

  8. We’re not sacrificing charitable contributions in order to put up lights. It seems that most Midlanders can afford both, with extra money to throw around for an Excursion and a gallon of gas.

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