You can call me The Drooler

Wlel, rlaseedrgs of waht the rrptoees form the eahdgges who do rceesrah at Cmiadgbre Uieestrnvy pprruot to raeevl, the oedrr of ltretes in wdors is iapnmrott to ciigtoonn.

Saw a headline in this morning’s sports section: “Replacing Emmit Smith a lot harder than it seems.” Overlooking the fact that it makes no sense, the main reaction I have to this statement is…”well, duh.” It’s not exactly a revelation that a team can’t pull up a suitable replacement for the leading rusher in the history of the NFL, and especially not a competence-challenged group like the Pokes.

Another story documented the huge growth in the Bentonville, Arkansas area, as vendors hoping to suck up to Wal-Mart are relocating from all around the country. This phenomenon has resulted in an apparent overall upgrading of shopping opportunities via “better-priced shops and restaurants.” I suspect that Sam Walton would have a different interpretation of “better-priced shops” than the writer of this story.

Speaking of Arkansas, one of my favorite jokes originates therefrom. Seems a Texan was transferred to Arkansas, and the first week in his new home, he couldn’t help noticing that his neighbor had a pig in his backyard, running free. Well, in Arkansas, this isn’t all that unusual, but this particular pig was out-of-the-ordinary in that it was missing one of its hind legs.


The Texas was visiting with his neighbor over the backfence one day and asked about the pig. “Well,” the neighbor said, “that’s not just any ordinary pig; that’s a special pig. One day, one of our kids fell into the fishing pond and like to drowned. That pig ran down, pulled the kid out of the water, then came up here and grabbed my overhaul leg in his mouth and led me down there. Then, about a month later, our outhouse caught on fire with my mother-in-law inside, and that pig ran in and pulled her to safety. Yessir, that’s one special pig, like one of the family, you might say.”


The Texan was amazed, and said so. “But,” he asked, “how did your pig lose his leg…in one of those rescues?” “Well, no,” replied his neighbor. “A pig like that…well, you just don’t eat him all at one time.”

Oh, the post title? Courtesy of the Middle Earth Name Generator (Link no longer active). That’s my full name in Orkish: Skaigob the Drooler. It’s a killer name, doncha think? And it has the added advantage of working for both genders. My Dwarven name is also cool: Dori Silvernose.

4 comments

  1. THANK YOU so much for your comment on the “order of words unnecessary” thing. I have seen this on several blogs recently, and yours is the first to suggest it’s not necessarily good news. Everyone else seems to think it’s the coolest thing in the world. Misspelling! Yea!
    I recently commented on someone’s blog that I think context and simplicity matter just as much. As an experiment, I just posted a list of random words, some “difficult,” rearranging all the letters except for the first and last. The other commenters pretty much said they were unintelligible.

  2. Well, the other thing that bugs me about that “scrambled word email” is the suggestion that the reason people can read the scrambles is that they “scan” words rather than reading individual letters. I don’t buy that. They (we?) may scan sentences, but I think there’s more detail being sucked up from individual words than this oversimplification implies.

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