Planting Gardens for Alien Children

I saw a segment on The Weather Channel* this morning on planting a “pizza garden.” This is a small circular garden that you’re supposed to enlist your children to help plant, maintain and harvest. It’s called a pizza garden because you’re supposed to plant — are you ready for this? — “the vegetables that you and your children like on your pizza. Vegetables like tomatos, peppers, onions, squash and broccoli are favorites.”

Favorites for whom?! I’m a semi-grown adult and I wouldn’t voluntarily venture within a block of a pizza that was topped with squash. Do you know any child who will eat broccoli pizza? I don’t. In fact, unless pepperoni is harvested from bushes, the kids I know run screaming from pizza containing any vegetables. (Pizza sauce doesn’t count as a vegetable, governmental edicts notwithstanding.) Getting your child to willingly cooperate with this kind of pizza garden is about as likely as Howard Dean including the Westminster Confession of Faith in the next Democratic presidential campaign platform.

The Weather Channel needs to start getting its programming from somewhere other than Marin County, CA.

*Yes, I frequently watch TWC. Most of the time, questionable gardening tips aside, it’s the only thing worth watching on TV.

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  1. Sauerkraut on pizza? That’s a new one on me. I don’t know of anyplace in Texas where you can get that.
    I do like sauerkraut, by the way, especially with German potato salad and weinerschnitzel.

  2. Oh, it gets worse, Eric.
    Much, much worse. Those are abnormal vegetable toppings only by American standards.
    Squash and broccoli are minor topping atrocities compared to the truly creative horrors invented by the Japanese.
    Worse, some Westerners even end up endorsing such culinary nightmares.
    [Surgeon General’s Warning: The included links have been determined to be hazardous to your appetite and may induce fainting, seizures, nausea, or the uncontrollable desire to run screaming from the room.]

  3. Mayonnaise on pizza? That’s just wrong!
    Jeff, if it makes you feel any better, we watched Law & Order – Trial by Jury tonight, even though it was a re-run. And ER last night.

  4. Sauerkraut on pizza? That’s a new one on me. I don’t know of anyplace in Texas where you can get that
    Oh for shame! Wander down to your hometown Eye-talian Restaurant Luigi’s where you will find Sauerkraut on the menu as a topping for their great thin crust pizzas. I have had it, although I prefer red cabbage.

  5. Wallace, I’ve never noticed that on Luigi’s menu. Of course, we eat there so infrequently and when we do, we get something other than pizza. But it’s good to know that I don’t have to drive to Fredericksburg to get sauerkraut (or red cabbage).

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