You’re psychotic; I’m logically cautious

I finally got around to watching The Aviator yesterday, thanks to NetFlix. If you having been paying attention, this epic movie (meaning that it’s really, really long) brings to life on the big screen (or the 15″ TV in front of our treadmill) the story of Howard Hughes, the reclusive (paranoid) eccentric (psychotic) billionaire (billionaire) who did a lot of wild and wacky stuff.

I was intrigued by the account of Hughes’ self-consumption brought on by his obsessive-compulsive behavior. I can’t understand how such a brilliant mind could also be so tortured by such seemingly trivial matters. I kept wanting to yell at the TV, “aw, c’mon, Howard; snap out of it…you’re embarassing yourself!”

After the movie ended, I decided to edge and mow the lawn before the day got any hotter. I went into the garage and grabbed my hearing protectors from the nail on the side of the storage bin…and froze.

There, on one earpiece, sat (stood? who can tell?) a small spider. On. My. Hearing. Protectors. The ones that go over my ears. On my head.

With a full body spasm I simultaneously brushed, blew and flung the hideous creature…somewhere? I didn’t see where. For all I knew, I actually missed him, and he was now hiding INSIDE one of the ear cups, biding his time until I placed them on my head. Over my ears.

I spent the next…oh, it’s not important how long it took…suffice it to say that I checked, re-checked and double-re-checked again every square millimeter of those cups. I squashed ’em real hard to make sure he couldn’t survive, then I did serious reconnaisance for the remains. I found nothing. Not a smidge or a smudge. Obviously, I had been successful in flinging him from my presence, and the headset was safe.

Or…was it?
Could I risk it?
Could I risk it?
Could I risk it?
Could I risk it?
Could I…

7 comments

  1. Rachel, it’s not as good as either of those two. I’d rate it about 6 out of 10. I have to say that Leonardo DeCaprio did an excellent job with his portrayal of Hughes…and I’m not really a big fan of his acting.

  2. There was nothing neurotic about your concerns, Eric.
    Bugs getting in your ears is no joke. Okay, spiders aren’t bugs. But they’re, well, creepy crawlies and that’s close enough.
    I recently read an article (with loads of full-color clinical photographs) about the medical complications from fly eggs laid in the ear of one of the tsunami victims. It’s enough to give anyone the shaking horrors and a quick run for the bathroom.
    You’ve seen Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan, right?

  3. Mr. Freen, ST2 was precisely the mental picture I had while contemplating my next move!
    Julie, I plan to take your advice. Are you sure spiders can’t infiltrate ziplocs? Maybe I should store it in the freezer…
    Shannon, that’s a no-brainer, for sure. (Although, frankly, I’m really creeped out only by spiders. For example, snakes don’t bother me at all. But I am a picky eater…)

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