Dance Report: Discretion…or Cowardice?

Some of you have done an excellent job of feigning interest in our dancing adventures, and so I’m pleased to offer these observations from last night’s event.

• I’ve decided that the waltz is a worthless waste of time. For one thing, I’ve yet to hear a waltz that is really worth listening to on the dance floor, musically-speaking. Plus, everybody and their dog wants to waltz, meaning that it’s all elbows and big toes on the floor, with barely enough room to shuffle around. OK, that’s not the waltz’s fault, but I must hold someone or something responsible.

• The band was amazing. It lived up to its name of “The Little Big Band,” as it had only two members, a man and a woman, but if there’s an instrument they couldn’t play, we didn’t miss it. She sang and played two keyboards simultaneously, one controlling loops and percussion and the other an electric piano. He also sang and played all the stringed instruments. I looked up at one point and he was simultaneously playing a violin and a harmonica.

• We totally spazzed out (a technical dance term, by the way) only once, when I inexplicably forgot how to foxtrot, which is akin to forgetting that breathing begins with an inhalation. MLB slapped me back into consciousness and we stumbled back onto the dance floor from behind the column where we tried to disappear until we resumed some semblance of sanity. I’m pretty sure nobody noticed.

• Does anybody know the meaning of the word payaso? I’m pretty sure it’s a term of adulation, as I overheard two of the waiters use it in apparent reference to my footwork.

• Remember the amazing tango steps we were intent on performing? We never got the chance. The first tango appeared right after we arrived, and we weren’t sufficiently warmed up (nor was the crowd of onlookers sufficiently inebriated). Then, the first tango turned out to be the last tango, although not in Paris <rimshot>. It was just as well. During one of the breaks, a couple did a tango exhibition and they were so amazing that I’m not sure anyone else in the room would have gotten out on the floor if another tango had been played.

• We really need some swing lessons. That’s next on the to-do list.

Overall, it was a fun time, and we stayed almost until the very end. We also met and visited with some very nice folks. The Ballroom Dance Society is a great asset for west Texas and we enjoy our participation, even if we’re more like Fred and Wilma than Fred and Ginger.