Advice for Boys

It’s been a while since I quoted the illustrious Mr. Lileks, and I’m not sure I’ve ever just stolen an image from him (although I came close with the Chastening Perry Head), but this was too good to pass up. From today’s Bleat:

Photo of Audrey Totter from 'Lady in the Lake'
If any of you have young sons, show them the picture above, and stress the importance of not making women look at you like that. No good ever comes of it.

I would heartily second Mr. Lileks’s suggestion, although there’s at least one additional womanly look that should give even the most seasoned veteran of the male gender pause for thought. When confronted by a smiling chick wearing Birkenstocks and holding a loaded AK-47, one should always err on the side of gushing appeasement.


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14 comments

  1. Eric, your advice to boys is sound. When I was a young mother I PRACTICED this look until I could stop a rogue elephant (or a pack of Cubs Scouts). Indeed, I encourage all mothers to do the same. Very useful for freezing the misbehavior wayward children (any children) in church, the library, grocery store, etc. Now for my husband, I use the narrowed eyes …

  2. You should see my senior class picture — well, actually, I thought that this was my senior class picture, except Ms. Totter’s hair is shorter. I was about two weeks away from having a case of Graves disease diagnosed, and I was popeyed like that virtually 24×7.
    Good times.

  3. In addition to the look, there is also THE TEACHER VOICE. When my wife and I were starting to date, my best friend from college was on the faculty with her at the same Christian school. One day he was in the hallway, headed towards the office. He started hearing THE TEACHER VOICE from the music class where Marie was teaching. He popped his head in the doorway to see who had this power. He was shocked to see my sweet little Marie with the voice of a Drill Sergeant (sans profanities). Even he was scared.
    Several years later I was reading Dune and it mentioned the power of the Bene Gessarit sisterhood with “the Voice.” Hah – they have nothing on my sweetheart.
    Now, when you combine THE LOOKwith THE VOICE …….

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