Random Thursday: The December Eve Edition

Photo: Rippled clouds at sunrise in Horseshoe Bay, Texas

Howdy, y’all. Today is the last day of November, and the implications thereto should be obvious, starting with the fact that it’s now time to start planning your Easter egg hunts.

Today is National Personal Space Day, but it’s also National Mousse Day, which presents something of a dilemma. I mean, I value my personal space as much as the next guy, but if you’ve got mousse (and we’re talking about the edible kind, not the hair gunk), then you should absolutely feel free to violate my personal space as long as you bring an extra spoon. Especially if there’s chocolate involved.

Say, I just realized that I let a blogversary date slip past me, possibly because I detest that word (along with every other portmanteau containing “blog”). And this was a big one, as on November 8, the Gazette turned 21 and is therefore now able to legally consume alcohol without the presence of an adult parent, guardian, or spouse. That’s kind of a big deal for me, personally, and a problem for you, collectively, because I can now use that as an excuse for whatever questionable and/or weird stuff gets published herein…which pretty much applies to everything.

By the way, you know that qualifier I used above about the presence of others? I didn’t realize until I did extensive research in preparation for this post that in Texas it’s legal (or at least an affirmative defense to prosecution) for a minor to drink alcohol as long as their adult parent, guardian, or spouse is present. IOW, I could have been using this excuse for many years prior to this. Oh, well.

Onward and upward…ish…

I recently ran across this quote on the Book of Faces:

John Muir quote about hiking vs sauntering
What about moseying? Or meandering? Or ambling, for that matter?

I have a lot of respect for John Muir, even if the Sierra Club has gone off the rails in many respects, but methinks Muir doth protest too much about this matter of semantics. Have you ever tried to saunter up a 38º incline at 8500′ elevation on a mountainside covered with talus (or scree, as the good Scotsman would likely have referred to it)? Or worse, sauntered downhill on such a surface?

Such an activity can of course be a spiritual exercise, but it’s because you’re calling on a benevolent Deity to protect you from a broken ankle. I’m all for a leisurely saunter now and then, but there’s a time and place for it, one that doesn’t provide multiple opportunities for injury and/or death. Nope, it’s a hike; that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Oh, here’s another something I stole borrowed from Zuckerbook. It’s a list of made up words ostensibly published by MENSAites in which said terms are derived from changing one or more letters in an existing word to make it mean something entirely different, and, one hopes, more entertaining. Some of them I liked a lot. To wit:

  • Bozone — The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating
  • Dopeler Effect — The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. [Possibly due to the bozone (my addition)]
  • Reintarnation — Coming back to life as a hillbilly
  • Arachnoleptic Fit — The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. [Ed. — Has one ever intentionally walked through a spider web?]
  • Beelzebug — Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  • Intaxication — Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

By the way, typing this list caused the Autocorrect Genie to collapse and spend the rest of this post in a fetal position.

From the Annals of Innumeracy…

Graphic showing a questionable grasp of arithmetic
“Dammit, Jim, I’m a graphic designer, not a mathematician!”

Closing shot: Amaryllis By Morning

Photo: Amaryllis blooms

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