Expanding Lawn Menagerie

Did you ever pass by one of those stores where the inventory is crammed into a vacant lot and wondered what kind of unwashed, uncultured redneck rabble buys something like that for public display? Well, now you know. Now, in our defense, since our lawn is almost dead, thanks to the drought and watering restrictions,… Continue reading Expanding Lawn Menagerie

Venus in Transit (A faithful re-creation)

For those who were unable to experience the joyous, mystical, deliriously magnificent spectacle of Venus crawling across the face of old Sol like a mobile blackhead, you’ll get another chance to see it in about 105 years. But if you have other plans – like, say, washing your flying car or catching Betty White live on… Continue reading Venus in Transit (A faithful re-creation)

You snooze, you bruise.

We’re really enjoying our new iPads, although I think I’m getting along better with mine than Debbie is with hers. According to Apple, the iPad is a bit heavier than its predecessor, and while I can sort of detect that extra weight, she’s experienced it up close and personal, as it were. (As it was?… Continue reading You snooze, you bruise.

Kill ’em and Color ’em

Debbie and I were strategizing the other day about how to incorporate the severe watering restrictions into our lawn care regimen. We’re resigned to the fact that the grass will probably die when the heat of the summer hits, but we’re not interested in putting in fake turf. So, I was opining that we should… Continue reading Kill ’em and Color ’em

“Stop Waterboarding Your Lawn”

Who knew that sprinkler system water sensors could be so amusingly dramatic? Kudos to this company for making a rather boring product more interesting.

Lo Beem

My friend LouAnn took her BMW coupe to the car wash today, and after paying and waiting in line for an hour (car washes in Midland are really busy, since hand washing at home is now illegal), she was told that her car’s ground clearance was too low to go through.  Being the good guy… Continue reading Lo Beem

A Cultural Historical Moment

I’m no historian, but the following scene may have been a turning moment in culture. This unassuming scene comes at approximately 8:12 into the movie Heathers, a dark comedy starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater, filmed in 1988. One second earlier, this group of obvious high school losers was referred to by a female character… Continue reading A Cultural Historical Moment

Love Taps

Her: Did you see this article in the paper, about the woman who attacked a man with a hammer because he wouldn’t marry her? Him: Yeah. Her (laughing): Wow. I wonder why he wouldn’t want to marry her? Him: Sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me. Him: Still, he probably missed an opportunity.… Continue reading Love Taps