Restaurant Rant

Have you noticed that some restaurants have become rather stingy with their oven time?

First, it was IHOP, doing away with their iconic warm syrup, forcing us to us the decades-old, occasionally mislabeled communal dispensers. Now, as a kid, I was always amazed at the bounty of available sweet and sticky substances to be found in those containers – who doesn’t love dollar pancakes drowned in a combination of pecan and blueberry syrup? But that sort of thing lost its appeal roughly four decades ago, and now all I desire is a simple maple-like flavor delivered in a form that will actually melt the solid lump of butter atop the short stack. But, no, even that simple pleasure is now denied,*

And then there’s Cracker Barrel, which has apparently adopted a strategy of combating global warming by serving its breakfast muffins cold.* (And without butter, although that’s a perverted blessing given the inability of the muffins to melt it.) Does anyone really prefer their blueberry or apple bran muffins unheated?

C’mon, folks. Life’s short and hard enough without making us suffer these basic indignities.

*In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that warm syrup and heated muffins will be provided, but only upon special request. But that’s sort of like ordering a bottle of wine with dinner and, oh, by the way, do mind also uncorking it for us?

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8 comments

  2. Why do you think they introduced Via? That’s just a gateway to “coffee? here’s the hot water and a cup…get after it!”
    I almost threw SBux into the mix because all their stuff is served cold (here, at least), but I don’t consider them to be restaurants so there’s a different standard. We’re all about arbitrariness here at the Gazette.

  3. We’ve been going to Denton pretty often lately and have rediscovered Grandy’s. They still have the great rolls and honey and will ask if you would like extras. Mmmmm good! I even had a cinnamon roll there. Those are so big, you have to share.

  4. The Grandy’s in Midland closed about 10-15 years ago. We didn’t eat there a lot, but it was a good change of pace every now and then. Their cinnamon rolls are amazing, that’s for sure. I don’t want to know their nutritional information!

  5. I was going to throw *$ under the bus too…they don’t even offer a do it yourself microwave (for fear you will destroy your own coffee…geez, they leave artificial sweeteners out for those inclined to wreck a good thing).

  6. I’ll try to keep Debbie from seeing your comment, since she’s a Splenda aficionado (she prefers Truvia but *$ doesn’t stock it).
    Well, for that matter, I am as well, but only for iced coffee. I drink the hot stuff black and unsweetened, but I prefer the iced version with 2% milk and a packet of sweetener. Go figure.

  7. I’m equally guilty when it comes to iced tea or coffee…with the same lack of an explanation, but if *$ is so worried about the purity of their products, I’d think they wouldn’t allow any doctoring after they present it. Most of us would only use the microwave for the baked goods anyway.

  8. To be honest, I’d never heard the explanation that Starbucks didn’t have microwave ovens because it feels that nuking coffee somehow ruins it. Interesting. And clueless, if they think their coffee is really that good. 😉
    Sure, I frequently drink it, but, frankly, it’s more a matter of convenience than preference.

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