Ant Band

OK, feast your eyes on this little jewel:

Photo - Fire Ant Gazette silicon wristband

That’s right – it’s an authentic Fire Ant Gazette wrist band, crafted by otherworldly artisans deep beneath the earth (in the general area of Wickett) from the finest silicon harvested by documented workers from the forests of Silicon Valley, and tinted in Classic Lead-Free Pewter to accentuate the elegance of the finest evening wear and/or t-shirts. It’s embossed with the iconic Fire Ant and the reverse side has the URL imprinted with this oddly playful font that evokes the mystery and wonder of Walt Disney after a three day binge with the dwarves.

What’s more amazing is that one of these beauties can be yours for a song – well, for a poem, to be more precise. I’ll send one to the first three people to leave a haiku about fire ants in the comment section of this post. 

Because, frankly, I don’t know what I’m going to do with a case of these things. So help me out here, will ya? It seemed like a good idea at the time.

13 comments

  4. I hate ants.
    Mainly cause of CSI.
    But Eric rocks!
    (I’m thinking of that episode of CSI where the guy is buried alive with a heap of Fire Ants. Since we don’t have any, I learnt a bit more about them hehe and am really glad we don’t have them.)

  7. Just in case Rachel’s first submission is disqualified…
    Little red ninjas
    Leap from grass blades while I mow
    Biting stinging pests

  8. OK, you guys rock. And since the entries have come from around the world (literally…Asia and New Zealand, Texas and semi-Deep South), you ALL are winners!
    But, I must confess that Li-Ern’s first one is my favorite because it evokes the yearning desire and mysterious origins of this most fabulous of mythical artifacts. I sense a screenplay…
    What I need from you now are mailing addresses. Email them to me, please, and I’ll drop your band in the post ASAP.
    Thanks for playing; this was fun!

  9. Sheesh, seems I’m late to the party. Well, here’s my bid anyway:
    Ants, strength aplenty,
    Absconded with our picnic,
    All’s left: breath minties.

  11. Gee, I’m nothing if not magna…magni…uh…generous. Send me your mailing addresses, Rob and Beth, and you too can enjoy the bounteous benefits of the beauteous band!
    “Breath minties.” Heh.

  12. Such an unusal & unique creature of God
    And a tenacious & formidable foe of man,
    So I’m standing by their lofty mound,
    Wonderin’ how much Amdro can they stand!
    Do I pour out just a teaspoonful
    Or maybe a measured cup.
    How bout’ the entire bag.
    Now that would be kicking butt.
    But to my visual periphery I spied a single warrior ant
    Working tirelessly the warm morning soil.
    And what I saw on that frame so scant,
    Give me a moment to recoil.
    For upon its tiny leg was a single band,
    Or maybe it was a tiny sock.
    But enscribed in the tiniest lettering read..
    ‘Eric really rocks!’
    So I took this as a sign from above,
    as I placed the Amdro out of danger’s way.
    I spared the mound and it’s curious soul,
    Thinking…..I’ll have to kill them another day.
    THE END!

Comments are closed.