My Excellent Podiatric Adventure

On Wednesday, for the first time in my life, I consulted with a podiatrist. I’ve had pain in my right foot for several weeks, and it’s not getting better on its own, despite my dancing three times a week and continuing to wear bad shoes. Go figure. I decided to consult an expert so that I could stop ignoring my own amateurish advice and ignore that of a highly educated professional instead. 

I had this conception of what a podiatrist’s office would look like. I envisioned something out of a Dick Van Dyke Show episode, essentially frozen in the early 60s, except with arcane equipment scattered around. I was spot on. 

Yes, those are my actual unretouched feet, patiently (ha!) awaiting the results of x-rays. But that’s not the focus, because they obviously pre-date the early 60s. Look instead at the décor! 

To be honest, the surroundings weren’t off-putting at all. Quite the opposite; they engendered in me a calm and comfortable feeling, sort of like settling into the parlor of a favorite aunt, not that I recall having any aunts who had actual parlors. The artwork was classic Starving Artist Nature Scenes With Ducks motif, and it blended perfectly with the peeling green plaid wallpaper and verdant armchairs. This waiting room was anti-hipsterish to the point of being absolutely cool. I’d go back in a heartbeat just to enjoy the ambiance. 

I think all doctors’ offices should be similarly decorated, because I can remember when they made house calls, and I’m all about nostalgia nowadays.