The Directional Driller’s 23rd Psalm

My pal Kelly posted his version of the 23rd Psalm on his Facebook wall, written from the perspective of an oil driller. I was inspired by his version to create my version, which is similar – but since my company drills nothing but horizontal wells while Kelly tells me he’s primarily drilling vertical wells, my angle (see what I did there?) is from the perspective of a directional driller. If you’re not in the oil business, some of the jargon may be unfamiliar, so I’ve included links to pages that may clarify things a bit.

By the way, I don’t think this is sacrilegious or disrespectful of Scripture, because we all seek (and find) God from where we are, and I believe He cares about all the details of our lives, and this includes what we do for a living. I think it’s helpful and even important to try to relate Scripture to the everyday aspects of our lives. Given that, how might you re-word Psalm 23 to fit your personal situation?

The Lord is my Geosteerer; I shall not miss my target bottom hole location.

He makes me slide through soft shale; He leads me past thief zones.

He restores my mud motors; He leads me in the well path of mild doglegs for His name’s sake.

Yea, though I drill through the zone of limestone stringers and chert, I will fear no DBR‘d bit, for You are with me; Your agitator and kickpad they comfort me.

You prepare a directional plan before me in the presence of management skeptics;

You lube my wellbore with oil-based mud; my reserve pit doesn’t run over.

Surely one-BHA laterals and cement to surface will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the cooling house^[1] of the Lord forever.

[1] A cooling house, aka safety trailer or safety house, is an air-conditioned trailer placed on a drill site for the use of rig personnel who might be suffering from heat exhaustion.