This is the time of the year when journalists the world over phone it in by doing those endless “Year in Review” reports, only this year it’s ten times as bad because the end of the year is also the end of the decade (unless it’s not), and we’re all nutso for round numbers.
The indolent staff here at the Gazette doesn’t want to be out-lazied by the MSMers, so they’re gonna phone it in as well. Here, by the numbers, is our debriefing of the past decade*:
0 — Foreign countries visited (not counting Washington, D.C.)
1 — Cars purchased (take that,
4 — Houses bought and sold (don’t ask about dollars lost)
11 — States visited (includes involuntary flight connections…looking at you, Chicago)
119 — Involuntary guests residing overnight in a Fire Ant trap
761 — Consecutive days without missing a Duolingo Spanish lesson (and still not fluent!)
881 — Gazette posts (including this one; it counts!)
3,537 — Miles run
9,120 — Miles bicycled
20,000 — Advils consumed
∞ — Unmerited grace received by yours truly from God
*Yes, I realize the decade isn’t over yet, but you don’t actually expect me to do any work during the last week of the year, do you? What part of “phoning it in” didn’t you understand?