Pickleball: I can stop anytime. Really.

AI-generated image of three crazy old men playing pickleball
Not me. As far as you know.

Me: It’s very embarrassing to get beat in pickleball by a couple of 70 year old women.

Him: You should be embarrassed to admit that you play pickleball.

So, Debbie and I have started playing pickleball, and by “playing” I mean “doing our best to not look like complete klutzes while avoiding a trip to the E.R.” Thus far we’ve avoided the latter, but the jury is still out on the former. [Alert Gazette readers will recall that I also characterized our initial forays into the wacky world of ballroom dancing in similar terms. Those efforts turned out pretty well, so we hope past performance does augur future results.]

Drawing showing striping for combination tennis and pickleball courtOur little neighborhood has a very nice lighted tennis court that has been restriped to also accommodate pickleball, which makes it look something like the image shown at right, although ours isn’t quite as garish as this example. Given that the average age of the residents is north of 60, we unsurprisingly have very few tennis players, and pickleball is rapidly gaining new addicts adherents.

Now, if those lines look confusing…well, they are, and it takes a while to get used to which lines are appropriate to argue about whether a ball is out of bounds or not. Not that any of us argue about such things, as pickleball is a decidedly mild-mannered social game, not unlike, say, mixed martial arts or presidential debates, and with the same inscrutable rules.

Not me. As far as you know.

But I digress.

About a year ago, we bought some cheap paddles and three balls — which we later learned were for indoor play; there is a difference — and banged them around the court a few times. We upgraded our paddles to slightly less cheap graphite models, although we couldn’t tell much difference. We even bought court shoes, which was probably our wisest investment. And then we stopped playing, mainly because we didn’t have anyone else to play with, and singles pickleball is hard and a tad boring because when you play against your spouse, you have to stifle your instinct for trash talking, if you know what’s good for you. And after 50+ years, I do.

Things changed about six months ago when someone in the neighborhood proposed a bimonthly, late afternoon get-together at the court to play pickleball and socialize, and we came up with a creative name: the Pickleball Social. It quickly became a thing, and we learned that there were six or seven couples and a handful of singles who were either experienced players or who wanted to learn the game. There were also a number of neighbors who just wanted to watch and drink wine. And socialize. And everybody brought their dogs.

The formality (and felt peer pressure) persuaded Debbie and me to upgrade our equipment once again, this time to carbon fiber paddles that purport to allow us to bend it like Beckham, so to speak, although that remains in the realm of theory thus far. This commitment to the sport also resulted in the inevitable upgrades to our wardrobes — another ballroom dancing parallel, of course — and various accoutrements such as gloves, sweat wristbands, and pickle juice shots.

These affairs are non-competitive, and newbies are treated with respect and patience. We have one rule, in recognition of certain, um, vulnerabilities: absolutely no diving for the ball (I violated that one right off the bat, and learned a valuable lesson).

We rotate partners — we only play doubles — and make sure everyone gets a chance to play as much as they want, and we’ve started setting up a portable net at one end of the court so that people can warmup or practice while a game is going on. Depending on how many people show up, we may shorten the games to 7 points rather than the usual 11, to give more people playing time. Our POA will eventually restripe the court to have two pickleball surfaces.

Attendance at the socials took a big hit during the summer months due to the brutal heat (half of the court is not shaded by the tall oaks and pecan trees sheltering the rest of the area). A few of us got together in the early hours of the morning to play, and that was fun, and now that the days are shorter and cooler, the crowd is starting to reassemble.

Neither Debbie nor I have any natural athletic ability, but we enjoy the challenge of pretending that that’s not the case, and I think we’re improving incrementally, at least to the point where fewer people are collapsing in laughter at our on-court foibles.

Animation of man falling into a pickleball net
Not me. As far as you know.

Discover more from The Fire Ant Gazette

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Published
Categorized as Sports

4 comments

  1. Sounds a lot like our addiction! We play on a court at a neighbor’s house. We were invited to play years ago by an older couple (yes, there does exist people older than I), but we thought it was some game played in nursing homes with a big bouncy rubber ball of some sort. Maybe while seated. Lesson learned: don’t run backwards.

    1. Lee, I don’t even mosey backwards anymore.

      Our group ranges in ages from around 60 to well over 70, but there are some pretty athletic types across the board. Of course, it doesn’t take much to impress me.

  2. I’m still a few weeks out from the beginners’ pickleball class Mrs. signed me up for. I’m not getting into a pair of new court shoes quite yet, but I have an Onix Z5 paddle that was one of the limited number of options I had to spend my 5-year work anniversary points on.

    I’m hoping that I’ll have sufficient social skills to connect with some potential partners for play after the class ends.

    1. Mike, good for you! That’s an excellent paddle to start with and I think you’ll be happy with it for quite a while as you progress. Court shoes are certainly optional at this point, but if you decide you enjoy the game and want to continue, they’ll become important…not just for performance but also for safety on the court. Good luck, and keep us apprised of how it goes!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *