Reading is like breathing in and writing is like breathing out. — Pam Allyn
I see that it’s been almost three weeks since I last published anything on the Gazette; I trust you’ve enjoyed the respite from the usual trivial blathering. Now, I would normally fess up to sheer laziness — and I’ll admit that there might be a tiny grain of truth to that — but I’ve actually taken time off to do more reading, and by reading I mean actual books, and not just memes posted to Facebook — and I’ll admit that there might have been a tiny bit of that as well.
If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that. — Stephen King
Everyone says that writers need to be readers, and I won’t argue that point. The thing is, I’m never exactly sure what I’m supposed to be picking up from what I read and applying to what I write. My literary choices are all over the place — as you’ll soon see — so the subject matter doesn’t necessarily provide me with inspiration. Plus, I’m too old and set in my ways to change my writing style, which is best described as comedic chaos infused with vocabulary that I don’t always understand. Regardless, I feel compelled to prove to you that I am technically literate, and I’ll do that by documenting some of what I’ve recently read (or intend to read once I’ve caught up on my meme consumption).
Don’t be a writer. Be Writing. — William Faulkner
I’ve categorized the books into some simple…uh…categories: those I’ve finished reading, those in-progress, and those I have in hand and plan to read. As an added bonus for anyone who somehow makes it through the entire list, there’s an additional category for the one book that I quickly gave up on, aka a waste of time. Be like me in that regard; you don’t have to waste your time on dreck.
Also, you’ll note that I don’t actually review any of these books, other than an attempt at a cutesy one-liner, but I’ve linked to a serious third-party review of each one, in case you’re interested in knowing more.
And, finally, I’ve applied the usual scientific rigor the Gazette is known for in coming up with a rating…the universally accepted Ant Rating. (It should be obvious, but the more ants, the better…although more than five is too many.)
From the moment I picked your blog book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. — Groucho Marx (mostly)
Warning: Toward the end of this post is a book cover with a closeup photo of the head of a venomous snake.
Finished
Delete That (and Other Failed Attempts to Look Good Online) — John Crist
My format: hardcover
Place of purchase: Bay Books Coronado (California)
My rating: 
Mini-Review: Christian comic admits that he’s not perfect. Bet you didn’t see that coming.
The Snakes That Ate Florida: Reporting, Essays, and Criticism — Ian Frazier
My format: e-book
Place of purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
My rating:
Mini-review: More details about more things than are probably necessary. But there are Burmese pythons, so it has that going for it.
Trash! A Garbageman’s Story — Simon Paré-Poupart
My format: e-book
Place of purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
My rating: 
Mini-Review: Garbage stinks. People suck. Trashmen are heroic.
Alan Opts Out — Courtney Maum
My format: e-book
Place of purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
My rating: 
Mini-Review: Your Friends and Neighbors (Apple TV) without the burglaries, guns, binge drinking, and sex. But it’s still pretty good.
Pulphead: Notes from the Other Side of America — John Jeremiah Sullivan
My format: paperback
Place of purchase: Leather Bound Books & Goods, Marathon (TX)
My rating:
Mini-Review: When it’s good, it’s really good. And it often is. But not always.
The Known World — Edward P. Jones
My format: paperback
Place of purchase: Leather Bound Books & Goods, Marathon (TX)
My rating: 
Mini-Review: The Pulitzer Prize doesn’t always mean a satisfying read. This is an exception, but, man…what a slog to consume.
Remarkably Bright Creatures — Shelby Van Pelt
My format: e-book
Place of purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
My rating:
Mini-Review: I would never argue that a talking octopus is smarter than most humans, but I also wouldn’t argue that the concept makes for a compelling novel. Sally Field and a thousand at-home book clubs probably disagree.
In Progress
The End of Everything: How Wars Descend into Annihilation — Victor Davis Hanson
My format: e-book
Place of purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
First impressions: Potentially nightmare-inducing, given the current state of the world
Noticing: Intimate Encounters with the Natural World — Richard Louv
My format: hardcover
Place of purchase: The Twig Bookshop, San Antonio (TX)
First impressions: A bit woo-woo in places, IYKWIM, but somewhat consistent with the Gazette’s mantra, All You Have To Do Is Look.
Plan To Read
Snake Men: Rebels, Reptiles & the Race to Name Earth’s Creatures — Zach St. George
My format: hardcover
Place of purchase: The Twig Bookshop, San Antonio (TX)
Why? Surely you know me better than to ask that question.
How the Gringos Stole Tequila: The Modern Age of Mexico’s Most Traditional Spirit — Chantal Martineau
My format: paperback
Place of purchase: The Twig Bookshop, San Antonio (TX)
Why? I’m all about agave-centric controversies.
Waste of Time
Stainless — Todd Grimson
My format: e-book
Place of purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
Mini-Review: Sixty pages in, and that’s all I could take. One of the few books I’ve deleted from my Kindle library. YMMV, but I doubt it, given what I know about the Gazette’s readership.
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