I served as a pallbearer yesterday afternoon for a man in our Sunday School class, and the experience reminded me again of the interesting challenges that funeral directors face.
The details aren’t important; let me just say that there were ten pallbearers, and the weight of the casket was close to 800 pounds. The casket fit into the hearse with about two inches clearance on each side, and it went through the doors of the church with less clearance than that.
It took us almost five minutes to position the casket on the rolling cart (I’m sure there’s a technical term for it) to the director’s satisfaction before attempting to move it into the church; we made several adjusting moves of less than an inch. He was worried about it tipping over, an event which he’s seen before and which is, as he put it in a funereral understatement, “not a good thing.”
Pallbearer safety was at the forefront. “If it starts tipping, boys, just let ‘er go. You can’t stop it, so get out of the way. We don’t want anyone hurt.”
Fortunately, there were no mishaps (I can’t predict how all the pallbearers will feel upon arising from bed this morning; I have a couple of new aches in my shoulders). The paths at the church and the cemetery were relatively smooth, and the dignity of the occasion was maintained.
I debated about the appropriateness of posting this, but decided it was OK since the man’s son referred in his otherwise moving eulogy to “the biggest casket I’ve ever seen.” I had just never before considered these kinds of practical issues.
That can be an issue with smaller caskets though too…Especially when you get weak females to lift them LOL. I had to help with my grandmother (on my fathers side). Not only was the door narrow – but I almost dropped her!
This is just one of many reasons I’ve stipulated I want to be cremated (not that I’m currently in need of a huge casket, just the whole logistics of rolling in and out and here and there seem…well, a bit much for people to have to deal with). And even if I change my mind, I think I will probably also indicate that I don’t want my body actually at the funeral service.
Rachel, I’ve never been to a funeral with female pallbearers. Perhaps you’ve explained why. 😉
Beth, I’m sort of ambivalent on the cremation issue. I’m tempted to leave the decision to my wife (assuming that I go before her, which is statistically probable), but then, that’s just one more decision she’d have to make during an already stressful time. Perhaps the best thing is to specify my desires, but leave open the option for her — and her only — to overrule that desire when the time comes. I’m pretty sure I’ll be beyond caring at that point.
My Dad has a very funny pall bearer story from his Navy days. We were stationed in the UK and one of the British pilots they flew with had died in an accident. The day before his funeral they had the pub crawl (where the men went to all of the local pubs to raise money for the widow by drinking, drinking, drinking). So all of the pall bearers showed up a little hungover. And it was raining.
So the guys are holding the casket at the grave site when a mouse decides to find shelter from the rain in the pant leg of one of the pall bearers. He freaked out and let go of the casket (fortunately, the others managed to hold on to it), but he slipped in the mud and fell into the hole.
It definitely lightened the atmosphere and everyone had a hearty chuckle on a sad and dreary day.
Lucky for him the others didn’t drop the casket in the hole on top of him! I’ve never heard of raising money by drinking. How does that work?
“‘How does that work?’ she queried, with a gleam in her eye, and the proverbial light bulb going on over her head.”
They go to the pub – explain that they’re raising money for a widow; buy a round and then all other pub patrons buy the rounds and also chip in money into a “hat.” At least I think that’s how it works. Something like that anyway.
I’ll bet there are more “widows” than widows in places like that. Go ahead, call me a cynic. 😉
OK, you’re a cynic.
Doesn’t make you wrong, though. 😉
“If it starts tipping, boys, just let ‘er go.” I don’t know why it surprises me that he would say that, but it does. I guess, I’m thinking that the safety and dignity of the deceased would be primary. Pallbearers are expendable. 🙂
What a strange, underappreciated, yet necessary role funeral directors play in our society.
Having gone through a several family funerals in the past few years, I can say that *anything* you can do to prepare for your own funeral (burial policy, buying a plot, making a *will*) can go a long, long way toward smoothing the path for your loved ones.
What a strange, underappreciated, yet necessary role funeral directors play in our society.
Well said.
The best of them can become no less than representatives of heaven during a dreadfully bleak time.
My favorite funeral guy…Sparky at Ellis Funeral Home. If you’ve ever seen him, you’ll understand.
The Ellis guys did this service. I don’t specifically remember Sparky, though. (Sparky…what a great name for a funeral director. I’ll resist the urge to ponder whether he’s in charge of cremations.)