Q: How many people does it take to change the light bulbs in the ceiling fan in my office?
A: Just one, but he should have a robust vocabulary to cope with the task of guiding a large fragile glass dome with one hand in such a way as to align and maneuver said dome so that the two pull chains will drop through their allotted holes, and then center said dome over the threaded support, while trying to find the 2 nanometer wide sweet spot in his progressive bifocals, and while holding in his other hand (1) a washer, (2) another washer, and (3) the locknut that will eventually – and perhaps theoretically – secure said glass dome to the fixture, and while holding said glass dome in place, with said remaining hand guide the two washers over the threaded support and then affix the locknut to the threads…and all of this while balancing on a rolling desk chair.*
Next time, I’ll just stay in the dark.
*I lied about the desk chair, because it sounds more daring than the kitchen step stool I actually used. But even that was a challenge given the other distractions.
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