A man claiming to be President George W. Bush signed into law today a tough new bill designed to fight the growing problem of identity theft.
Category: Just Plain Silly
Delving the Mysteries of the Dishwasher
Is there any household appliance less trusted but more relied on than the dishwasher? This thought came to me this morning as I was loading the breakfast dishes. We don’t, of course, put dirty dishes into our dishwasher, as that would be an abomination. Who knows what goes on inside of those things? They can’t… Continue reading Delving the Mysteries of the Dishwasher
Tips for Staying Off Camera at Church
I operate a television camera a couple of times each month during one of our Sunday morning worship services (we have three, two of which are televised), and one of our biggest challenges is finding good audience shots during the sermon. Most people will tell you that they are not happy about the idea of… Continue reading Tips for Staying Off Camera at Church
Welcome to the “Lunatic Texans On Skis” Tour
I want to thank you for showing up for this press conference. It’s important that we try to set the record straight, if for no other reason than to staunch the gushing of legal fees. Now, if you’ll permit me, I’d like to make a brief opening statement, and then I’ll take some questions. Ahem…… Continue reading Welcome to the “Lunatic Texans On Skis” Tour
Betrayal
Is there a worse feeling than that which comes from knowing you’ve been betrayed? Your first realization that years of trust and devotion have been for naught brings a dull ache that can’t be easily assuaged, and you wonder if life is really worth the pain, and you wonder if you’ll ever again be able… Continue reading Betrayal
Wrapsody ‘n Blue
The three wise men described in the Bible were married, and I can prove it. See, nothing in Scripture mentions anything about Mary and Joseph expressing cries of horror and disgust at the way the gold, frankincense and myrhh presented to the Christ child were wrapped. That can mean only one thing: the magi let… Continue reading Wrapsody ‘n Blue
Irony (or, “With friends like that…”)
I took advantage of the lovely weather to wash my wife’s car this afternoon. As a result, I was wearing my Teva sandals when we later took Abbye for her evening constitution. About halfway around the park, while standing on the sidewalk waiting for the dog to complete her necessary inspection of every blade of… Continue reading Irony (or, “With friends like that…”)
Yeah, that’d work…
Yesterday’s mail delivery included the new edition of “Reader’s Digest” (slogan: “Validating Attention Deficients For…Wait, Was That A Hummingbird?”). One of the headlines on the cover read “The New Pill That Can End Aging.” I overhead MLB mumble, almost to herself, “what is it…cyanide?”