Her [from the kitchen] – I just noticed that there’s almost two cups of water left in the coffeemaker. Doesn’t your coffee taste a little strong?
Him [from the living room] – I was just thinking how good it is.
Her – That’s so aggravating. I punched the button three times, and I figured that would do it. I didn’t think to check it again.
Him – Well, just punch it again.
Her – I already threw the grounds in the trash.
— Silence —
Him [moving toward the kitchen] – Um, how long ago?
Her [eyebrow moving upward] – It’s been a while.
Him [now in the kitchen, standing over the trash can] – You think it landed on anything gross?
— Both peering into the trash, trying to ascertain whether the filter was still intact, and the potential toxicity of what it was resting against —
Him – It’s looks OK to me.*
Her – Uh…
Him – I don’t think the 5-second rule applies to coffee grounds.
Her – [silence]
For the record, the remainder of the coffee was quite good, too.
*One of the peripheral benefits of an unused kitchen: cleaner trash
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What kind of cofffee was it?
Starbucks Brazil Ipanema Bourbon. You can understand my motivation.
***trying not to choke on one bite of BlueBell Orange Swirl Country Cooler while laughing***
Honestly, is this really news? Can you survey your bloggers to find out what goodies they have extracated from their trash bins? And what they did with them? Maybe you could call the post “Second Helping”?
Just for the record, I dug through my weekend trash to retrieve a newspaper featuring a photo of a patriotic celebration held at our church. My son had asked to cut out the picture, but I had forgotten to save him the paper. I have tried to make this little story sound exciting, but it’s just not.
Becky, you really need to sit down with Janie and let her explain to you why I’m a lot funnier than you think I am. 😉
Actually, this wasn’t meant to be exciting or amusing. It’s a sad story of addiction and substance abuse. I think I need an intervention or something.
On the other hand, they got a perfectly serviceable episode of “Seinfeld” from a similar situation. Where’s George Costanza when you need him?
George Constanza? I think Howard Schultz would enjoy the story more!
Can you please quit dancing and digging in the trash (maybe your “addiction” has something to do with your suppressed anxiety over your perceived inadequacies on the dance floor, but I’m no psychologist…) long enough to go see Pirates of the Caribbean/Dead Man’s Chest and tell me what the heck the story is about. Pay special attention to the voodoo lady, because you’ll be hard-pressed to understand a word she says. We’re big Jack Sparrow fans and are eager to discuss.
You must be livin’ right, because whenever I need to dig something out of the trash, it’s already been in contact with whatever the most vile disgusting thing is that resides in the trash can.
And Becky ought to join Janie in starting a group blog. I think they’ve got “it.” 🙂
You must be livin’ right…
Although it may also be that I have a different grossness threshold than you.
And stop encouraging Becky. It’s bad enough that she already excels in every she does; do we have to turn over the blogosphere to her, as well? 😉
For the record, it will probably be next Friday before we can see POTC. That’s way too long to wait, but such is the hectic schedule we endure.
So by next Friday do you mean the 14th or do you mean the 21st? Cause the next Friday is the 14th, which isn’t really all that long to wait but if you mean the one after that (the 21st) then that is a bit of a wait.
To combat the whole “dig things out of the trash” temptation, I tend to purposefully dump the coffee grounds out of the filter over the other things in there – that way no one wants any of it. Cause, seriously, eeew.
So there’s this nice article in the local paper about what you are doing for Midland Fairhavens. People at work (who don’t know me all that well) ask about Blogathon and about Midland Fairhavens and ask me for the url so they can investigate a little more. I tell them what the url is and call it up to show them and find the top post about how we eat out of the trash. (sigh) Sometimes being married to a world famous blogger is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Beth, I see you’re one of Those People Who Constantly Questions The Meaning Of “Next.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 😉
IAE, I’m referring to the 14th.
Sometimes being married to a world famous blogger is not all it’s cracked up to be.
This appears to be a case of unreasonable expectations. Besides, technically, we didn’t “eat” out of the trash (not that there’s anything wrong with that). We merely drank water filtered through trash. There’s a huge difference.
I’m rolling my eyes with YLB. My dad commented on the newspaper article as well. I had taken him to your blog a couple of weeks ago to see if he could identify the two Pogo characters. (He and my mom read Pogo strips to us as long as they were in the paper when I was a tot.)
Daddy was impressed with your cyber support of MFH. He thinks highly of your sense of humor and your honorable philanthropy. HA!! I can’t wait for him to read about your dumpster diving for damp dregs of dry roasted caffeine!
This seems to be something that warrants additional discussion, because I suspect each of us has something for which we’d indulge in trash diving to rescue. The real question is whether anyone else is honest enough to admit it. 😉
Yes, yes, I’m one of those people. Reason being, I have showed up for dinner at someone’s house both a week early and a week late due to inconsistencies in interpretations of the word “next” when followed by a day of the week. 🙂
Trying to think of something that I would actually eat if I rescued it from a dumpster (or, more likely, relatively clean kitchen trash can) and am drawing a blank – but if I think of something I will fess up. Promise.)
What goes in the trash, stays in the trash, pertaining to anything that goes into my mouth.
Digging out receipts from Target or Linens N Things or Pier One…no one wants a store credit…they want cash back. So, dive, dive, dive.
Beth, I was intentionally careful to avoid a reference to a dumpster. Absent surviving a nuclear holocaust, there’s no situation I can conjure up where I’d eat out of a dumpster.
As to the “next” issue, I’ve never understood the confusion. But the problem does seem to occur most often when one uses “next” to refer to a day that’s less than three days hence. If I was to refer to next Tuesday, you’d probably be confused as to why I didn’t just say tomorrow, even though it is the “next Tuesday to occur.” And I’m putting myself to sleep writing this, so I can imagine how riveting it is for everyone else. Sorry.
Julie, it’s interesting to contemplate how we judge cleanliness. How many times do we dig cash out of our wallets to pay for a meal at a fast food restaurant, accept change back, and then go sit down and eat that meal with the same unwashed hands that handled what has to be some of the least sanitary objects around: bills and coins?
I’m drawing a blank too, in the “things I would eat out of the trash” category. Diving for other stuff, certainly, but probably not edibles (or drinkables as it were). But then, even at its cleanest, my kitchen trash can is not very clean. Speaking of which, I think it needs a good scrubbing. The important thing is that you both lived to tell about it. 😉
The important thing is that you both lived to tell about it.
Although, now that you mention it, I do have a bit of a headache…
So…I guess I’m the only freak who takes the change, puts it away, sits down, whips out the Purell sanitizer, and THEN eats? Cause, yeah, money ain’t clean, people.
There was a particularly awful prank going around town a few months ago. It’s called the “poo dollar” prank. (Thanks, Ashton Kutcher) Guess I don’t have to go into much detail, but at one of my son’s sleepovers, the prank was pulled off at the Duck Pond. Those involved in the planning were severely reprimanded…and everytime the boys gets change, especially in dollar bills, I always remind them…”that could be the poo dollar.”
Of course, if you don’t spend any money, you don’t get change, so that’s good for my bank book! (Thanks again, Ashton Kutcher)
This thread is taking an ugly turn. 😉
Gee, this post has generated more comments than anyone would have imagined, and there were even a few compliments to me thrown in there as well! My day has been made even lovelier. Blogging about nonsense can be a beautiful thing.
My day has been made even lovelier. Blogging about nonsense can be a beautiful thing.
Thereby proving my original premise, I think. “One man’s trash…” and all that.
Anyway, it’s all about you, so I’m pleased that you’re feeling uplifted. 😉
See, here’s the thing about blogging that makes so sense whatsoever. It’s one thing to write about drinking out of the trash. It baffles the mind that anyone would want to read and prattle on about it. But here we are…